Don’t just be ready – Be prepared.

Whether you are asked for or request a divorce, it’s not just about being ready but being prepared. The divorce and separation process can be stressful and confusing, even in the straightforward Denmark. Therefore, I have created this checklist for you to stay organized and not overlook anything important. The list is not necessarily in prioritized order, but provides a general framework for the process.

The List:

• Attend couples therapy, whether to genuinely try to rekindle your love or simply to end the relationship amicably.
• Schedule an appointment with your bank for advice on the new situation.
• If you have debt, financial worries, and low income, Gældsrådgivning can help you get an overview and a plan for the future. The counselling is free and confidential.
• If you have experienced domestic violence, get help or advice immedeiately!
• Create a list of personal items that belong only to you, like family inheritance or gifts to negotiate in case you do not have a prenuptial agreement.
• Start the search for suitable accommodation as soon as possible. The accommodation must be able to accommodate the children.
• Contact the tax office if you need clarification on tax and pension benefits.
• Be aware that you can divorce without being separated first if you both agree to divorce. If you do not agree, you will normally have to be separated for 6 months before you can divorce. It costs DKK 825 (in 2024) to have an application for separation or divorce processed.
• Submit separation or divorce papers.
• Agree to a separation mediation to ensure effective co-parenting. This process will be guided by a professional specialized in conflict management and relationship communication, with the goal of creating a separation plan that not only reflects the needs of both parties but also prioritizes the well-being of your children.
• Inform the children that you are getting divorced, but only after agreeing on all possible points to be able to give an aligned and confident answer to all their questions.
• Refrain from separating around major annual events like Easter, Christmas, or birthdays to prevent the children from associating these occasions with sadness in the years to come.
• Temporarily agree on visitation until the divorce is finalized.
• Decide if joint custody will continue.
• If in agreement, establish a visitation schedule. If not in agreement, contact a mediator or seek a court order for visitation.
• Optionally, establish a child support agreement.
• Inform family and closest friends about the divorce, ensuring that the children are informed first to prevent any inconvenience.
• Notify the children’s schools, sports coaches, recreational activity teachers and nannies about the divorce.
• Determine who will be the residential and non-residential parent going forward prioritizing minimal disruption to the children’s lives. Keep their well-being in mind throughout the decision-making process.
• Determine if, and how, the house or apartment will be sold.
• If one of the partners stays in the marital house, create a list of material goods, furniture, and gifts received after marriage and decide how to divide them. Optionally, make an inventory of common assets that will remain in the former marital home.
• Be aware that the separation assumes that you stop living together. However, you can continue living together for up to 2 or 3 months if one of you has to find somewhere else to live. If you move back in with each other during your period of separation, the separation will cease to apply. 
• Notify change of address – possibly for the children as well.
• Apply for housing support if necessary.
• Apply for child support if applicable.
• Decide how to divide assets – consider contacting a free service lawyer if encountering difficulties.
• Separate your bank accounts and loans. Optionally, create a budget for children’s expenses and divide them between you.
• Update tax and pension information.
• Update the insurance policies for home, auto, children’s health, and life insurance.
• Agree on the ownership, sales or transfer ownership of the family vehicles.
• Change the account holder’s name for utilities such as electricity, gas, telephone, mobile, internet, TV license, TV subscriptions like Netflix etc. Apps like Spotify etc, memberships, magazines, etc.
• Change all passwords (mobile phones, iCloud, PC, laptop, social media, etc.) for maximum privacy protection.
• Decide how to divide the couple’s photographs and videos including those of the family and children.
• Consider eventually disposing of couple personal intimate material for the sake of privacy protection.
• Inform the healthcare system, parish, etc., of both spouses’ addresses for respective communications.
• Optionally, change your last name.
• Consider ordering a new passport if changing your name.
• Contact www.retshjaelpen.dk if you need legal assistance in connection with divorce, custody, and visitation cases, or more general topics such as rental agreements or complaints regarding social matters.
• Transcribe the divorce in your Country of origin through the consular services.
• Sign up for single parents meet-up to not struggle alone. If you are a single mother in Copenhagen, check this FB group
• If you are a woman, connect with other women to have mindful conversations in women´s circles. This is a large group of International women for support in sisterhood.

Separation of assets

Generally, in the event of separation or divorce, joint assets are typically divided equally unless otherwise specified in a prenuptial agreement. This agreement may designate specific assets as separate property, excluding them from the shared estate. After settling debts, the remaining assets are divided equally between both parties. Personal debts are not divided equally; each individual is responsible for their own. Retirement savings, including pensions, remain with the individual. This applies to various pension types, such as installment and capital pensions.

In cases where agreement cannot be reached on asset division, the court intervenes to make the final decision.

What if you do not wish the separation or divorce?

If the parties disagree please note that both parties have a right to a legal separation.
A person who does not wish to remain in his or her marriage always has the right to a separation, regardless of the wishes of the other spouse.
No reason or proof is required in order to obtain a separation.
After a separation period of six months, the spouses have the right to divorce, even if one spouse disagrees.
If one spouse wishes to divorce without prior separation, and the other spouse disagrees, the parties must start by requesting a separation.
Even if one spouse disagrees, the other may request a divorce without prior separation, if one of the following conditions is met:

• Your spouse has committed adultery
• The spouses have been living apart for at least two years because of disagreements
• Your spouse has committed acts of violence against you or your children
• Your spouse is married to someone else (bigamy)
• Your spouse has abducted your mutual child

Foreign nationals and residence outside Denmark

As a main rule, matrimonial matters can only be settled in Denmark, provided that:

• At least one of the spouses must be a permanent resident of Denmark.
• The spouse initiating the divorce request must reside in Denmark.
• The requesting spouse must be domiciled in Denmark and have lived in the country for at least two years, or must have previously been domiciled in Denmark.
• In the event that the petitioner is a Danish citizen and can demonstrate that, due to their citizenship, they cannot file the case in the country where they currently reside.
• Both spouses are Danish citizens and the defendant does not oppose the proceedings in Denmark.
• The parties have been separated in Denmark within the last 5 years.